"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." -- Clarence Budington Kelland, U.S. Writer Father's Day Humor and Anecdotes: Five Original Excuses to use if you forgot to call "Dear Old Dad" on Father's Day: 5. "Your E-mail bounced." 4. "Thought you were supposed to call me." 3. "Did I surprise you by calling the day after Father's Day?"| 2. Two words: "NBA Finals" 1. "I thought it was Mother's Day and called Mom instead." Does your Dad speak with the voice of Reason or the voice of Doom? What fatherly sayings had the biggest influence on your life? Here are some fatherly sayings: Don't ask me, ask your mother. Were you raised in a barn? Close the door. You didn't beat me. I let you win. I'll play catch after I read the paper. A little dirt never hurt anyone-just wipe it off. You call that a haircut? This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. You call that noise "music"? We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are. When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect. As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules. I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why. Do what I say, not what I do. You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do. You should visit more often. Your mother worries. I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel. What do you think I am, a bank? What part of NO don't you understand? Didn't your teacher learn you anything? Father's Day One-Liners: This is what my son said to me when he returned from boot-camp. "Dad, you're not as dumb as I thought". On the occasion of my brother's 21st birthday, my Dad said," Happy Birthday son. Now that you are a legal adult, remember you can go to jail with the big boys!" My dad always said "You can't get lost if you don't know where you are." clw in co My father's wise words have kept me out of some trouble, but not all...he used to say frequently, "Whenever in doubt don't!" Unfortunately I didn't doubt enough. BB in IL   click here for more Real-Life Anecdotes Shared by DPSers   Father's Day Prayer (by Richard Fairchhild) Thank God for how he loves us how he sets the example of parenthood We also thank you God today for our parents - especially for our fathers - We pray that whether they are here with us still - or with you - that you might bless them that you would forgive - as we forgive - any failings that they may have had or still have that you might bring to yourself and hallow all the good they did or do, and lead them in righteousness with cords of human kindness and ties of love now and forevermore. * Ask God that we might be better parents and set the example in all things We pray for the young people in our families for the young people in our community - for a good example from us for the desire to walk in the way of blessedness. Lastly we lift up this day those whom we thought of during this worship time and those whose names were just now named by us Bless, O God, each of us, and make us a blessing. Bless indeed your whole church - here and throughout the world. We ask it remembering your promise to us and according to your call upon our lives - that call issued to us through Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen. Sermons: Happy Father's Day, by HW in HI, Mt. 10:24-39 (see excerpt below) The Silent Treatment, by Dave Gladwell, Isaiah 6 v 1-8, John 3 v. 1-7 Children's Messages: Father's Day--Being a Blessing, a children's sermon by Kit MacLeod at http://www.christiancrafters.com/sermon_father.html Sermon Excerpt: Happy Father's Day! When I look at today's Gospel reading, I have to wonder about the people who put together the lectionary. I wonder whether they figured that from time to time we would find ourselves reading, "Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child, and children will rise up against their parents and have them put to death" on Father's Day! Maybe they just thought it would be a good challenge for the preacher…. I was listening to NPR this week, and they had a group of dads in, talking about the pleasures and pitfalls of being a father. The fathers of the little ones, the 3 and 5 year olds were glowing with a sense of their own fatherhood, their ability to help mold these little creatures God has entrusted to them. The fathers of the ten year olds reported struggling with difficult questions and tough decisions. The fathers of the teenagers reported struggling. Period. Just struggling. I want to ask a question. Would those of you here that feel you've been a good father stand? Or maybe just put up your hand. How about those of us that feel we've had a pretty okay father? Fatherhood is a tough job. It would seem, however, that most of you dads are doing better than you thought you were. You might take comfort in the musings of Samuel Clemens, also known as Mark Twain: "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." There are a lot of stereotypes for dads out there. Television gave us Father Knows Best, and a whole slew of competent and incompetent dads. Ben Cartwright on Bonanza (anybody but me remember that?) was a strong father, filled with wisdom and good judgement and compassion. Desi Arnaz in I Love Lucy and Fred Flintstone were bumbling incompetent dads. The list goes on and on. I believe we expect a tremendous amount from our fathers. We want strength when we are struggling, words of encouragement when we fall. Safety from our enemies. Protection when they overwhelm us. We want forgiveness when we fall short. And we want unconditional love. ..... Subscribers can click here for the entire message  What is a Subscription? subscribe to gain  instant access to a variety of resources plus an ENTIRE YEAR of weekly lectionary resources for only 39.95!