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Two or Three is All it Takes
Matthew 18:15-20
by Rev. Randy Quinn

Let me read that last verse again: "Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them" (Matt. 18:20).

That sentiment is consistent with what Matthew has presented about Jesus throughout the Gospel. In the very first chapter, for example, Jesus is named Immanuel, God with us (Matt. 1:23). And in the very last verse of the last chapter we hear Jesus make the promise to be with us always (Matt. 28:20).

It's no surprise then when we hear an echo of that in the promise that "where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them" (Matt. 18:20).

But what Jesus says in our text today is more than a promise that he will be with us. It's also a variation of a popular Jewish thought circulating from that era in time - although, like the gospels, it wasn't put into writing until a century or so later. Listen to one translation of the Rabbinic saying:

If two sit together and words of the Law are between them, the Divine Presence rests between them1.

In other words, whenever two people discuss the scriptures, God is there.

In meetings - public meetings, club meetings, even church meetings - we often make reference to a quorum. And depending upon the organization, the size of the quorum varies. One of the most commonly used definitions is more than half of the members, such as 4 out of 7. (For United Methodists, a quorum is defined as anyone who is present at a properly announced meeting2.)

For Jews, however, a congregational quorum consisted of ten men - although more liberal Jews today might say ten people or members of ten households. This Rabbinic saying makes the radical suggestion that God's presence is not limited to the congregation. Even if there is no quorum, the Divine Presence can be honored whenever two people discuss the scriptures.

The variation Jesus offers, pushes the story away from God's presence, however, and makes it clear that we cannot experience that presence on our own. In recording this scene for us, I believe Matthew wants us to know the important thing is that there needs to be a quorum of at least two - a reminder that we not only cannot be the church on our own; we cannot experience the presence of Christ our own, either.

You may have heard the story about the man who stopped attending church. The reasons he stopped attending were not as important as his absence. After many months had passed, in the dead of winter, the pastor called on the man.

Because it was so cold outside, the man reluctantly invited the pastor into his small living room. No words were spoken. Both men knew what this was about.

As they sat there in silence, the pastor went over to the fireplace and pulled an ember from the fire and placed it on the hearth. In a short amount of time, the ember began to fade and stopped producing any heat.

At that point the pastor walked back over to the fireplace and returned the charred piece of wood to the fire - and it was immediately lit up.

Recognizing the simple truth of the unspoken sermon, the man interrupted the silence, thanked the pastor for the visit and assured him that he would be in church on Sunday, and showed him to the door.

While many people may believe they can be a church unto themselves, Jesus is telling us we need each other. As one bumper sticker-like quote put it, "Christians are like grapes - they grow in clusters." We need a congregation. It doesn't take much to create it, but it does take intentionality.

It's also true that whenever there are two or three people, there is also the possibility of conflict and disagreement. One of the resources I use with couples, in fact, says that whenever there are two people there will be conflict. The secret to success is learning how to manage the conflict so that - in the context of marriage - the couple is not fighting against one another, but with one another and for the marriage.

Unfortunately, destructive conflict has been too common in the history of the church. You may have heard the story of the man who was stranded on a deserted island in the pacific. After almost two years, a ship came by and he was able to catch their attention.

When the rescue boat arrived from the cruise ship, they noticed he had three buildings on the island, so they asked him what they were.

"Well," he began, "this first one is my house. It's where I eat and sleep. This second one is the church I attend."

And what about the third building, they asked.

"Oh, that's the church I used to attend."

You know as well as I do that some churches are known for their bickering (although I have seen no evidence of that here and I have been told this congregation deals with conflict well.) But I spoke with a man recently who no longer attends church because of the conflicts he had witnessed and experienced in a different church. Unfortunately, his was not the only time I've heard that kind of response. In order to avoid the conflict, people often choose to be a Christian "on their own."

They let the conflict defeat them, rather than allowing the conflict to help them grow in their faith. You see, I am convinced that conflict can be a source of growth if we learn how to listen to one another and find what may be an even better answer to the problems we're trying to solve.

A couple of months ago, my sister sent me one of those stories that go around the internet. I don't know how many of you have read it before, but it's the story of a mother and daughter talking about how difficult life has been.

The mother's response includes a visual parable. She puts water in three pots and brings them to a boil. In one, she places a carrot. In another, she places an egg. In the last one, she places coffee grinds.

After a while, she removes the pans from the stove and offers the insight that some of us are like carrots. When we encounter difficulties, we let it defeat us and we become limp. We lose our will to fight and give up or give in. In marriage, that kind of an attitude will eventually destroy the relationship. When we abdicate our responsibilities in the church, we do the same thing.

Other people are like eggs, though. When they encounter difficult times or difficult people, they become hardened. Like the man who no longer attends church, they come away from the conflict hardened. In marriage, that can spell the end of the relationship, too. We all know people who are "strong willed," and sometimes find it difficult to work with them - in or out of the church.

The goal, the mother continues, is to become like the coffee. When the coffee encounters stressful circumstances, it changes the water. The water doesn't change the coffee; the coffee changes the water. In a marriage, that kind of an attitude will strengthen the relationship. Churches with people like that see the opportunities for ministry all around and find ways to address needs rather than bemoan their existence.

In telling us the story of Jesus the way he does, I believe Matthew is telling us how to deal with conflict in the church with an eye toward reconciliation - because we need our brothers and sisters as much as they need us. You see, without each other, we cannot experience the presence of Christ.

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them" (Matt. 18:20).

The truth is that I am an introvert. By that, I mean I draw strength and energy from being alone. Being with people, for me, is work. And the more people I encounter on a given day, the more tired I am at the end of the day. It's part of why I need to take a nap on Sunday afternoons - and the larger the crowd in church, the longer my nap needs to be.

People like me like to take walks in the woods or go fishing on the banks of a quiet stream. They enjoy the serenity that comes from the solitary setting of places like Thoreau's Walden Pond. (For those who have not read his story, Thoreau left the "city" to an isolated location on the far side of Walden Pond. There he spent the next two years with limited interaction with other human beings. There he learned the importance of hospitality as well as the many delights of God's creation.)

But even Thoreau knows you cannot be fully human in isolation; nor can you be a true Christian on your own. We need each other.

Jesus is outlining a means by which we can be reconciled with people when there are differences. The process is remarkably similar to the methods that psychiatrists and therapists employ. It begins by confronting the person with whom we have a disagreement - rather than telling someone else to talk to them for us, rather than recruiting people to "take sides" in the dispute, taking away any hope of having open and frank discussions (Matt. 18:15).

The next step is to include others in the process - so that there is clarity of the concerns as well as witnesses to the attempt to become reconciled (Matt. 18:16). If that doesn't work, the group becomes larger before any drastic measures are taken (Matt. 18:17).

Throughout the description of this process, however, is the priority given to reconciliation (Matt. 18:15). This is not about winning people over to our way of thinking or being coerced into an action we don't want to take. The purpose - the sole purpose - is to restore the relationship.

Because "where two or three are gathered" in the name of Jesus, he is there with them (Matt. 18:20). You see, the whole purpose of reconciliation is to evoke and instill the importance of having brothers and sisters - so that we may experience the holy presence of Christ - because Christ is to be found where two or three are gathered.

Since there are more than two of us here today, Christ is present.

Thanks be to God.

Amen.

Selected Bibliography

Barnett, Tanya and Tom Wilson. Radical Gratitude (Weekly reflections on responding to God's abundant grace). www.umfnw.org September 1, 2008 (Pentecost + 17, Year A).

Funk, Robert W.; Roy W. Hoover; the Jesus Seminar. The Five Gospels (The Search for the Authentic Words of Jesus). New York: Macmillan, 1993.

Hare, Douglas R.A. Matthew (Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching). Louisville: John Knox, 1993.

Jacobsen, David Schnasa. "Proper 18." Preaching (Word & Witness). September 4, 2005 (Vol. 05:5).

Mosser, David Neil. "Proper 18." Preaching (Word and Witness). September 8, 2002 (Vol. 02:5).

Patte, Daniel. The Gospel According to Matthew (A Structural Commentary on Matthew's Faith). Philadelphia: Fortress, 1987.

Quinn, Randy L. "Bound for Glory." Sermon preached September 5, 1999 at Fowler (Spokane, WA); based on Matthew 18:10-20.

_____. "Bound Together in Christ." Sermon preached September 4, 2005 at McLouth-Winchester; based on Matthew 18:10-20.

_____. "Seeking the Lost." Sermon preached September 5, 1993 at Allen Blanchard (Bow, WA); based on Matthew 18:15-20.

Schweizer, Eduard (translated by David E. Green). The Good News According to Matthew. Atlanta: John Knox, 1975.

Soards, Marion; Thomas Dozeman; Kendall McCabe. Preaching the Revised Common Lectionary B (Year A: After Pentecost 2). Nashville: Abingdon, 1992.

Wingeier, Douglas E., editor. Keeping Holy Time (Studying the Revised Common Lectionary, Year A). Nashville: Abingdon, 2001.

www.DesperatePreacher.com

www.Textweek.com

1 Attributed to Rabbi Hanina the Prefect of the Priests, a first-century rabbi; translation and more comments may be found in commentary by Daniel Patte (Fortress, 1987), pp. 254-255, 260.

2 Book of Discipline (2004) ¶ 246.6; 252.6